Happy New Year

The other day, I was asked if I had any New Year's resolutions. I told the person that I did not make resolutions or promises and that I just take life as it comes. Now, thinking about it, that's almost a resolution in itself. It's hard to not make plans or look forward to doing or trying something new. I guess for me the thing is, if whatever I try does not work out, then I know God is sending me on a new path or journey and that will be ok.

Wishing everyone a safe and blessed New Year!

Merry Christmas - Happy Kwaanza - Happy Hannukah

Thank you to all my family, friends and readers who have supported me this past year. Sometimes it's not easy to write but to know that I am being backed by you makes it a lot easier.

I wish you all a Safe and Merry Christmas and a Very Blessed New Year.

Love,

Cocco Butter

An Open Letter

There are times in our lives when we go through some grave disappoints. We often want to tell the other party how we feel, but rarely get the chance. I wrote this letter to let out some feelings that I know some of you can relate to.


To Whom it May Concern,

I thought we had something meaningful, true, deep. I am your wife, daughter, sister, cousin, friend. I was your confidante, partner in crime, gossip buddy. We laughed what I thought was real laughs, shared what I thought was true feelings and did things that I thought were memorable, but they never meant anything to you. You only spent time with me because you were bored, didn't have anything better to do, at the time.

To you, I am expendable. Who cares about me, after all I can be easily replaced. Now when others laugh at me, you join them. Even though you know it's not true, instead of showing some integrity and standing up for me, you join them, because to you, they are your highest bidders. People who you think you will get something from. Perhaps they will give you the attention you crave and desire, because of your personal issues. You know that these people do not have my best interest at heart, but yet they are the ones you try to please. You talk about me, stay away and even give out false information for your own selfish, petty, temporary gains. How sad is that and how sad are you?!

Unfortunately for you, during the time we spent together, because you did not care, you did not take the time to get to know me. If you had, you would know that I am one to not be kept down. I am one to not be disappointed for long and that victory is always on my side. Contrary to what you want to believe, I am moving from strength to strength and you have been left behind. A new year is coming and I am on the up and up. It's sad that it ended up this way but as they say, 'things happen for a reason.' I hope your 'highest bidders' don't disappoint you, because one day when you are looking for that shoulder to cry on, it won't be mine. I won't be there.

Yours Truly,

Strength to Strength

Poverty breeds Creativity - DIY

Many times I have wanted to get something and found myself short on funds, it's at these times I get creative and courageous. Where I live, getting braids can be expensive.Therefore, many moons ago, I thought, why not do-it-yourself? I learned how to braid and continue to do my own braids whenever the mood strikes me.

I know we all know that one or two Sisters who refuse to pay for anything, no matter how cheap the item is, but if you think back, they probably don't DIY. These women are just cheap.Unfortunately for many of us, when we see others DIYing, we see it as being cheap. There is something to be said for someone who is willing to take the time and dedicate themselves to learning a craft or a trade because they see the worth in being able to do it themselves. For example, I've always wanted to learn to sew. Instead of being afraid, a friend gave me their old sewing machine and I started making cushion covers for the pillows on my sofa. They were a bit rough at first but I can now sew cushion covers with my eyes closed, I then moved on to curtains (I sewed almost all the curtains in my house) and ottoman covers. My husband and I also did our patio by laying down stones and pavers. Neither him nor I had ever done this before, but now I can tell you what limestone screening is.

Not only have these activities been fun, it has saved me money and has taught me that sometimes, when you can do it yourself, that is all you need to boost your confidence.

Poverty breeds creativity, not cheapness!MM

Blogs Her Color Feature

When I first started this blog, it was mainly as a therapeutic medium for me. An opportunity to write down my feelings and observances about my life as a Black woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and the list goes on. Since then, it has turned out to be more than that. It has become an inspirational and motivational vehicle for many women. The countless comments and emails I receive lets me know this. When you are going through things, it is easy to think you are the only one. It's good to know that I am not and that there are many women that relate and support me. I am grateful for this.

Thank you to all my friends and supporters at Blogs Her Color for making me the Daily Color of Choice. Please read some of my posts and I pray that I continue to be a positive motivator for other women and inspire them to do the things the want to do.MM

Taking on the Challenge

I recently watched the animated horror/fantasy movie Coraline (written and directed by Henry Selick and distributed by Focus Features. Although this is not a movie review, I will give you a little background about the movie.

A young girl moves into a home with her overworked parents and upon inspecting the house, the girl, Coraline, stumbles upon a small door. When the door is opened, it is discovered that there is only a brick wall there. However, at night, the brick is gone and it is actually a passageway to the Other World. Here, Coraline meets her Other Mother and Other Father, who have more time for her than her real parents. As the movie progresses, it is revealed that the Other Mother and the Other Father are not who they appear to be. As it turns out, the Other Mother is a witch who intends on capturing Coraline's soul as she had done with other children. When Coraline tries to leave, the 'Beldam' locks Coraline up. Coraline then discovers that the souls of the other children are not only still in the house and need to be freed but the 'Beldam' has also captured Coraline's real parents. Coraline than challenges the 'Beldam' and with the help of other characters and defeats the Beldam.

What I enjoyed about this film is the bravado that this young girl had. Although I found the movie kind of creepy, because of her determination, that feeling soon left you because you trusted her strength and no-nonsense attitude.

Taking on the challenge with a no fear attitude and determination are not only inherent qualities, but can also be learned. Some people have always been couragous, while others, as they have grown and gone through life's experiences, have learned to have a no fear attitude. While others would have ran the other way, Coraline stood up to the 'Beldam' and even went as far as challenging her. It was actually refreshing to watch a movie where the main character did not cower but actually stood up and fought. Life is the same, we are always going to be handed all sorts of trials. It's the attitude we present to it, that in may time determines the outcome. If we cower towards a challenge, chances are that challenge will empower us and defeat us. If, however, we approach the same challenge with gusto, bravery and determination, the outcome might be a lot different. Many of us would not have had the courage to take on the 'Beldam', as young Coraline did.

For the rest of us that continue challenging our 'Beldams' everyday, keep at it, it is not in vain. One day, the outcome will be in your favour, as you have taken on the challenge with bravery, courage, determination and a no-fear attitude.

Take yourself seriously

One of the most difficult things for many women to do is to take themselves and their decisions seriously. Now by serious, I am not talking about always walking around with a scowl on your face, unable to crack a smile or make a joke, but serious, in that you are committed to the things you have, the things you do and the things you want to have and want to do. Not allowing distractions, doubters and naysayers to steer you of course.

When people try to question your decisions, have the balls to stand up and defend yourself and your choices. As women, we make the mistake of allowing people to constantly question our feelings, our achievements and our decisions and as emotional creatures, we allow them to do so, while we run the other direction crying, feeling defeated and angry. By allowing this to continue, you will slowly find yourself  becoming resentful, dissatisfied with life, unhappy, trying to live up to the expectations of others and eventually depression will set in.

It is ok to make decisions which you feel are best for you and your family. Be able to do what you do without having to look over your shoulder to see who is going to say what. Have the ability to take the untravelled road and make your own mark, being aware of the consequences and being able to live with them. Do not feel the need to justify yourself to outsiders, remember, they do not live your life. It's not easy, but little decisions you make everyday will eventually get you there.MM