Thursday, October 22, 2009

Take yourself seriously

One of the most difficult things for many women to do is to take themselves and their decisions seriously. Now by serious, I am not talking about always walking around with a scowl on your face, unable to crack a smile or make a joke, but serious, in that you are committed to the things you have, the things you do and the things you want to have and want to do. Not allowing distractions, doubters and naysayers to steer you of course.

When people try to question your decisions, have the balls to stand up and defend yourself and your choices. As women, we make the mistake of allowing people to constantly question our feelings, our achievements and our decisions and as emotional creatures, we allow them to do so, while we run the other direction crying, feeling defeated and angry. By allowing this to continue, you will slowly find yourself  becoming resentful, dissatisfied with life, unhappy, trying to live up to the expectations of others and eventually depression will set in.

It is ok to make decisions which you feel are best for you and your family. Be able to do what you do without having to look over your shoulder to see who is going to say what. Have the ability to take the untravelled road and make your own mark, being aware of the consequences and being able to live with them. Do not feel the need to justify yourself to outsiders, remember, they do not live your life. It's not easy, but little decisions you make everyday will eventually get you there.MM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Hardworking Woman

It might sound like a cliché, but black women work hard. Real hard. Between the responsibilities at home and perhaps frustrations of work, activities and keeping up social relationships, it's a wonder we find time for rest. I have a friend that has 3 jobs, in order to provide a roof and meals for her and her daughter. It's not that her overhead is exorbitant, it's just that as a single mom, that's what she has to do to keep above water and in some small way, get ahead. Her option to go on social assistance is definetely there, but she has opted to work, to not only set an example for her daughter but to also set a standard for herself. I remember my own mother who had 2 jobs. I was very young, but I still remember her coming home from her main job, changing and then going back out again to her part-time job. She didn't seem displeased, angry or agitated by the fact that she had to do this, she just did it. Now, as a married woman, I see and understand what it is all about. It's important to be hardworking, to set goals, to achieve those goals and to let your children know that if I can do it, so can you.MM

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Ungrateful Wife

We love to complain about how there are no good men out there, but when we get one, we don't know what to do with ourselves.

This woman is a perfect example of that.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Single Parenting

As a single parent, you have the responsibility of being mother and father, mommy and daddy or mom and dad. Even if the other parent is in the child's life, as primary caregiver, there is a lot of pressure to do your best. As parents, we are always being watched by our children, but as a single parent, you are center stage. There is no supporting actor or actress for whom you can share the stage with. Your children's, family, friends and society's eyes are all on you.

The circumstances of how you ended up as a single parent is not important, what is important is that you have undertaken the challenge of raising your child(ren) on your own. This means major budgetting where finances are concerned, being there at every recital, reherseal and game and sometimes having to say no because the funds are just not there right now. You might even be putting aside the things that you want to do, in order to allow for your kids to do the things that they want. Unfortunately many single parents are the butt of ridicule and judgement, especially when their children misbehave, get mixed up with the law or have difficulties at school. Instead of uplifting these parents, society tries to blame them, labelling them and sometimes just downright insulting them. Raising your children on your own is not easy and for all parents who have undertaken the responsibility, we salute you.MM


Online Resources for Single Parents:

Single Black Parents

Single Parent Dad

Single Parents Network

Single Parent Travel

Single Parent Romance


Single Mom and more
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