Poverty breeds Creativity - DIY

Many times I have wanted to get something and found myself short on funds, it's at these times I get creative and courageous. Where I live, getting braids can be expensive.Therefore, many moons ago, I thought, why not do-it-yourself? I learned how to braid and continue to do my own braids whenever the mood strikes me.

I know we all know that one or two Sisters who refuse to pay for anything, no matter how cheap the item is, but if you think back, they probably don't DIY. These women are just cheap.Unfortunately for many of us, when we see others DIYing, we see it as being cheap. There is something to be said for someone who is willing to take the time and dedicate themselves to learning a craft or a trade because they see the worth in being able to do it themselves. For example, I've always wanted to learn to sew. Instead of being afraid, a friend gave me their old sewing machine and I started making cushion covers for the pillows on my sofa. They were a bit rough at first but I can now sew cushion covers with my eyes closed, I then moved on to curtains (I sewed almost all the curtains in my house) and ottoman covers. My husband and I also did our patio by laying down stones and pavers. Neither him nor I had ever done this before, but now I can tell you what limestone screening is.

Not only have these activities been fun, it has saved me money and has taught me that sometimes, when you can do it yourself, that is all you need to boost your confidence.

Poverty breeds creativity, not cheapness!MM

Blogs Her Color Feature

When I first started this blog, it was mainly as a therapeutic medium for me. An opportunity to write down my feelings and observances about my life as a Black woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and the list goes on. Since then, it has turned out to be more than that. It has become an inspirational and motivational vehicle for many women. The countless comments and emails I receive lets me know this. When you are going through things, it is easy to think you are the only one. It's good to know that I am not and that there are many women that relate and support me. I am grateful for this.

Thank you to all my friends and supporters at Blogs Her Color for making me the Daily Color of Choice. Please read some of my posts and I pray that I continue to be a positive motivator for other women and inspire them to do the things the want to do.MM

Taking on the Challenge

I recently watched the animated horror/fantasy movie Coraline (written and directed by Henry Selick and distributed by Focus Features. Although this is not a movie review, I will give you a little background about the movie.

A young girl moves into a home with her overworked parents and upon inspecting the house, the girl, Coraline, stumbles upon a small door. When the door is opened, it is discovered that there is only a brick wall there. However, at night, the brick is gone and it is actually a passageway to the Other World. Here, Coraline meets her Other Mother and Other Father, who have more time for her than her real parents. As the movie progresses, it is revealed that the Other Mother and the Other Father are not who they appear to be. As it turns out, the Other Mother is a witch who intends on capturing Coraline's soul as she had done with other children. When Coraline tries to leave, the 'Beldam' locks Coraline up. Coraline then discovers that the souls of the other children are not only still in the house and need to be freed but the 'Beldam' has also captured Coraline's real parents. Coraline than challenges the 'Beldam' and with the help of other characters and defeats the Beldam.

What I enjoyed about this film is the bravado that this young girl had. Although I found the movie kind of creepy, because of her determination, that feeling soon left you because you trusted her strength and no-nonsense attitude.

Taking on the challenge with a no fear attitude and determination are not only inherent qualities, but can also be learned. Some people have always been couragous, while others, as they have grown and gone through life's experiences, have learned to have a no fear attitude. While others would have ran the other way, Coraline stood up to the 'Beldam' and even went as far as challenging her. It was actually refreshing to watch a movie where the main character did not cower but actually stood up and fought. Life is the same, we are always going to be handed all sorts of trials. It's the attitude we present to it, that in may time determines the outcome. If we cower towards a challenge, chances are that challenge will empower us and defeat us. If, however, we approach the same challenge with gusto, bravery and determination, the outcome might be a lot different. Many of us would not have had the courage to take on the 'Beldam', as young Coraline did.

For the rest of us that continue challenging our 'Beldams' everyday, keep at it, it is not in vain. One day, the outcome will be in your favour, as you have taken on the challenge with bravery, courage, determination and a no-fear attitude.

Take yourself seriously

One of the most difficult things for many women to do is to take themselves and their decisions seriously. Now by serious, I am not talking about always walking around with a scowl on your face, unable to crack a smile or make a joke, but serious, in that you are committed to the things you have, the things you do and the things you want to have and want to do. Not allowing distractions, doubters and naysayers to steer you of course.

When people try to question your decisions, have the balls to stand up and defend yourself and your choices. As women, we make the mistake of allowing people to constantly question our feelings, our achievements and our decisions and as emotional creatures, we allow them to do so, while we run the other direction crying, feeling defeated and angry. By allowing this to continue, you will slowly find yourself  becoming resentful, dissatisfied with life, unhappy, trying to live up to the expectations of others and eventually depression will set in.

It is ok to make decisions which you feel are best for you and your family. Be able to do what you do without having to look over your shoulder to see who is going to say what. Have the ability to take the untravelled road and make your own mark, being aware of the consequences and being able to live with them. Do not feel the need to justify yourself to outsiders, remember, they do not live your life. It's not easy, but little decisions you make everyday will eventually get you there.MM

The Hardworking Woman

It might sound like a cliché, but black women work hard. Real hard. Between the responsibilities at home and perhaps frustrations of work, activities and keeping up social relationships, it's a wonder we find time for rest. I have a friend that has 3 jobs, in order to provide a roof and meals for her and her daughter. It's not that her overhead is exorbitant, it's just that as a single mom, that's what she has to do to keep above water and in some small way, get ahead. Her option to go on social assistance is definetely there, but she has opted to work, to not only set an example for her daughter but to also set a standard for herself. I remember my own mother who had 2 jobs. I was very young, but I still remember her coming home from her main job, changing and then going back out again to her part-time job. She didn't seem displeased, angry or agitated by the fact that she had to do this, she just did it. Now, as a married woman, I see and understand what it is all about. It's important to be hardworking, to set goals, to achieve those goals and to let your children know that if I can do it, so can you.MM

Ungrateful Wife

We love to complain about how there are no good men out there, but when we get one, we don't know what to do with ourselves.

This woman is a perfect example of that.

Single Parenting

As a single parent, you have the responsibility of being mother and father, mommy and daddy or mom and dad. Even if the other parent is in the child's life, as primary caregiver, there is a lot of pressure to do your best. As parents, we are always being watched by our children, but as a single parent, you are center stage. There is no supporting actor or actress for whom you can share the stage with. Your children's, family, friends and society's eyes are all on you.

The circumstances of how you ended up as a single parent is not important, what is important is that you have undertaken the challenge of raising your child(ren) on your own. This means major budgetting where finances are concerned, being there at every recital, reherseal and game and sometimes having to say no because the funds are just not there right now. You might even be putting aside the things that you want to do, in order to allow for your kids to do the things that they want. Unfortunately many single parents are the butt of ridicule and judgement, especially when their children misbehave, get mixed up with the law or have difficulties at school. Instead of uplifting these parents, society tries to blame them, labelling them and sometimes just downright insulting them. Raising your children on your own is not easy and for all parents who have undertaken the responsibility, we salute you.MM

 


Online Resources for Single Parents:

Single Black Parents

Single Parent Dad

Single Parents Network

Single Parent Travel

Single Parent Romance

Parentbooks

Single Mom and more