Motivating your children

As mothers, we have a responsibility to our children. It is our duty to be good at whatever it is we do in order to encourage our children to live life to the fullest. Being a good mother means being fulfilled, in order pass on that fulfillment to our children.

Whatever you do, be the best at it. Whether it's your work, volunteer or hobby, be an example to your children by showing them that when you love to do something, it makes all the difference in the world. Paid or unpaid. In seeing you doing something with passion, your children will want to undertake activities with the same motivation and conviction.

"Doing what we were meant to do creates fun, excitement and contentment in our lives, and invariably, in the lives of the people around us. When you're excited about something it's contagious."Mark Victor Hansen

Your children are reflections of you, what you see in them, is who you are.MM

Your Wellness

I want to thank my guest Blogger Fatima Da for this wonderful article on Wellness.

Wellness is a concept which has been around since the 50’s and is linked to Dr H.L Dunn (1896-1975). It has been defined as "an integrated method of functioning which is oriented toward maximizing the potential of which the individual is capable. It requires that the individual maintain a continuum of balance and purposeful direction within the environment where he is functioning.” The concept was not popular then, not until the 70’s and has been associated with alternative medicine. Generally wellness has been used to describe the healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit triad; a state that combines health and happiness. It can be viewed as the way in which we balance and cater for our mental/emotional, physical and spiritual health state and how we make choices daily to attend to our wellbeing. Approaches to wellness do vary and usually depends on who is using it or talking about it; I suppose the most important aspect is to promote the generally wellbeing of individual/s where they subsequently live a healthier and happier life.

However for some of us our emotional and mental wellness may be determined by our physical state where we may struggle especially if challenged by body abnormalities, genetic problems, accidents or various illness. The beauty here is that for those affected by ailments beyond their control, skills such as psychological tools can be utilized to help maximise the potential to live be happy and get the best out of life.

Research have indicated that people who have a happy and optimistic disposition and laugh more in their day to day life , live far happier and have a longer life span.

Moreover, research has also studied how positive attitude coupled with spiritual practices such as regular church attendance promotes health, wellness and healing.

The road to wellness and happiness can be paved by the small decisions we make daily toward our health. “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh! Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is” By M.A Radmacher. Good luck...... and God bless ... for additional resources visit my blog at ... http://www.wellness-yourwellness.blogspot.com

Weight Loss

TIPS TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOALS

Exercise 3 to 5 days a week, preferably in the morning.

Find a routine you enjoy. Mix up your routine with cardio(aerobics), strengthening(weights) and stretching(yoga). This jolts your body into working harder and results in weight loss.

Strength training is very important. Women should really try to go for anywhere between 10 to 20lbs. Don't strength train everyday. Every other day is ideal, as you need time for your muscles to rest and recoup.

Eat small meals (approx. 6-8) meals a day consisting of plenty of fruits, vegetables. Eat by colour, greens, reds, blues, oranges, yellows.

On weekends, treat yourself. It's never a good idea to totally deprive yourself, you will resort to binging and that will result in more weight gain.

When grocery shopping, shop on the outer perimeters of the grocery store. This is where all the fresh food is located, fruits, veggies, breads, dairy and meats.

Don't grocery shop on an empty stomach, you are bound to buy junk food.

Get a measuring cup and start measuring your food. It might sound tedious, but after a while you will be able to measure your portions without the use of a measuring cup.

If you're Canadian, get the Canada Food Guide and try to design your meals according to that.
Get your free copy of the Canada Food Guide here.

Drink plenty of water, but also include fruit juices and dairy drinks.

Stay away from fads, low carb, South Beach, etc.

Follow a meal plan. There are some excellent meal plans online or sites that help you create your own. Search under meal plans.

Get an exercise partner, someone as motivated as you or even more...they will hold you accountable should your routine begin to fall by the wayside.

STAY AWAY from the scale. How much you weigh is no indication of how fit your body is or how healthy you are. Instead, go by how you feel and how your clothes feel on you.

Remember, this is a lifestyle choice not a fad.MM

Me Time

How many times have you wanted to do something nice for yourself or just take some time out and rest, but found something else coming in the way? Funny how many of us can find the time for our husbands, our children, our friends, our jobs and to do housework, but what about ourselves? How often do you make time to relax and unwind, without the guilt factor?
As women, we feel that if we do something nice for ourselves, we are depriving our husbands, boyfriends, children and families. What we need to understand is that, in order to be the good wife, girlfriend, mother, or daughter, we need to be good to us.
Whether it's a good book, time in your garden or taking up a new hobby, time with yourself is very important. It allows you to put things in perspective, to get a new outlook and best of all, it gives you energy and the motivation to go on being Superwoman.
To have some me time is not selfish, in this busy world, it's necessary. So girlfriend go out to lunch, have a spa day, get a mani-pedi, you deserve it!

Supportive Woman

Many of us expect when we get together with a guy, he should pretty much have his life together (a job, home, car, investments.) When some of us find ourselves-meeting or are in relationships- with men who do not have these, there tends to be resentment and regret.

I know many men that are trying to make successes of their lives, but dreams, like with most goals take time and nurturing. Ladies, support real, attainable dreams of those who want to make something of themselves and make their mark not only in society but in the world, not ridiculous ambitions, (I met a 40 year old man once, who was an aspiring rapper...get serious.) I have met many women who after meeting a man and learning of his circumstances and aspirations (unemployment, student, etc.) have already judged him as being unambitious or lazy. However, when these men realize their goals, these same women are calling them, trying to get a date.

Be realistic about your intentions in this type of relationship. Supporting a man with dreams takes time and if you are not in it for the long haul, then this is not for you. Nobody wants their time wasted. If hard times come (and they will), don't complain...too much. You knew what you were getting into. Success usually comes, but not right away. Also, don't let family and friends sway you from your decision to support your man. Misery likes company and some of these people might be looking for company for their own miserable situations. I have been the source of ridicule from girlfriends who thought I was wasting my time on a man with aspirations. He later turned out to be my husband.

Remember to not talk down to your partner because of impatience or frustration. He might already be feeling frustrated and defeated. Pressuring him about things beyond his control and insulting will not help matters. Be supportive. You would want the same if the shoe were on the other foot.MM

Fitness

Fitness is something we should all take seriously. Too many of us take our weight for granted. The truth is, without exercise and some form of daily physical activity, our weights will only continue to rise and our health will decline. Many black women find it difficult to get into a fitness regime. Citing excuses such as hair, children, school, work, family, etc.

Without regular fitness, we are leaving open the way to not only unhealthy lifestyles such as smoking, excessive alcohol and fatty foods, but to illnesses, including obesity, diabetes (African Americans are almost twice as likely to have diabetes than white women of the same age) and heart disease.

To women who are thinking of starting an exercise regimen, follow these few basic guidelines and you will be well on your way.

1) Be serious about your fitness goals. Don't set unattainable goals that you know you cannot follow and are not willing to achieve.

2) Get a fitness partner. Someone who is as serious as you in meeting their fitness goals. This person is there to not only encourage you during your journey, but they will be holding you accountable if you start falling behind. Usually this person comes in the form of a spouse, partner, child or friend.

3) Start out slowly. Work up towards your goal. Exercising everyday is not sustainable. Start out a few days a week and then work up the frequency. Remember to take breaks. Your body, like any other machine, will breakdown if overworked.

4) Find some form of activity you like doing, this will help you stick to and obtain your goals.

5) Try something new. Changing up your workout is a great way to rev up your metabolism.

6) Ladies, please do not be afraid to lift weights. I have heard too many times from women, that lifting weights will bulk them up. This will not happen. You need testosterone to bulk up and even then, you need plenty of it. If you are curious about weights, go for it. Start out slowly and increase your weights - 10 to 15 lbs - you will definitely notice a difference.

If you are starting out on a fitness regimen, send me your before and after pictures. I will post them to encourage other black women to get moving.

Good LuckMM

Don't worry, be happy!

Don't worry, it will all work out in the end. How many times have you heard that, told someone or had it told to you? Looking back, was it not true? Did it not work out? Some people are professional worriers. Worrying about how they're bills are going to be paid, what they are going to have for dinner tonight, how to pay for their childrens' education, etc., etc. As humans, we have come to believe that worrying is natural. However, this psychological act is very unnatural. It is learned behaviour, along with doubt and fear. It is not surprising that the things we most worry about is what we fear the most.

To worry is to not trust in your and God's abilities. It is to say to yourself, I or God have not done enough, have not done what is best for me. People who stress over things are not as fulfilled as those who have a more carefree attitude. Carefree people are happier, more successful, are willing to trying to new things and make friends easier. Worrying robs people of true happiness and leaves a void for negative emotions such as disappointment, discouragement, anger and envy to set in. It can cause tension amongst family and friends and can cause and lead to serious health problems. People in our lives who worry needlessly are also bad for us, for their negative behaviour and habit may rub off on us.

Sometimes, it is better to keep things to yourself or to discuss your concerns and worries with just your God.MM

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

Why not to worry

Lifetools for Women.com

Black Womens Health.com