Coping with the stress of everyday life

As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and more, it's overwhelming the amount of responsibilities you have to handle on a daily basis. Not only do you have to deal with the issues surrounding your children, school, discipline, diet, etc., there is also your duties as a wife including communication, support, sex. Not to mention this is being done while trying to maintain a clean home, clean clothes, cooking your meals, having a job, paying your bills, visiting your parents and then visiting his, while mentoring to your siblings and supporting a friend who is going through a divorce.

It's difficult to keep up! Is it a wonder many women are suffering from depression? The pressure of just trying to keep up continues to mount and many of us are medicating ourselves to cope. I am not talking about those who suffer from serious depression and require medication. Many of us do not need medication, we need to take some time out, take a break, put things in perspective and then start again.One of the best ways to help you cope with the stress of everyday life is perspective. Looking at your situation from a different vantage point. It could be worse! Truly and honestly, it could be. After a hard day, if I've burned the dinner, well, it's an opportunity for us to either eat out or order in. Discipline problems with my children is now a chance for me to review my strategies with my husband and think up new ones. Pressure from my parents is an opportunity for me to prioritize, and my family (husband and children) come first, and so on.

Next, take some time out. Whether it be a vacation or a cup of tea, a 1/2 hr mani-pedi or a full day at the spa, we all need to take time out and reflect. Categorize. What needs to be handled right away, what can wait and what you can't change-no matter how hard you try. Then, get to it, do what you can, the best you can and let God take care of the rest.

Pray! I have found picking up my bible and reading one or two verses in Psalms relating to what I am going through, always puts my mind at peace. I am always reminded that God will not give me anymore than I can handle.

If all else fails, walk away. Stepping away from a situation (for a period of  time) and redirecting your thoughts and energy, is a great way to get revitalized to tackle a task.

Everybody gets stressed at one time or another, the right attitude will determine how you get through.MM

Don't worry, be happy!

Don't worry, it will all work out in the end. How many times have you heard that, told someone or had it told to you? Looking back, was it not true? Did it not work out? Some people are professional worriers. Worrying about how they're bills are going to be paid, what they are going to have for dinner tonight, how to pay for their childrens' education, etc., etc. As humans, we have come to believe that worrying is natural. However, this psychological act is very unnatural. It is learned behaviour, along with doubt and fear. It is not surprising that the things we most worry about is what we fear the most.

To worry is to not trust in your and God's abilities. It is to say to yourself, I or God have not done enough, have not done what is best for me. People who stress over things are not as fulfilled as those who have a more carefree attitude. Carefree people are happier, more successful, are willing to trying to new things and make friends easier. Worrying robs people of true happiness and leaves a void for negative emotions such as disappointment, discouragement, anger and envy to set in. It can cause tension amongst family and friends and can cause and lead to serious health problems. People in our lives who worry needlessly are also bad for us, for their negative behaviour and habit may rub off on us.

Sometimes, it is better to keep things to yourself or to discuss your concerns and worries with just your God.MM

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

Why not to worry

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Celebrating your Spirituality

Ask most black women, and they would say that spirituality means having a God and perhaps being a 'believer'. For most, spirituality has religious ties. For me, spirituality is a lot more than just conforming to a religion or believing that there is a God. To have and believe in a God is a wonderful and fulfilling experience and to belong to a religion, means I know people who have somewhat of the same belief systems as I do.

To be spiritual however, encompasses that and so much more. It is a belief that you get back from the universe, what you put into it. Positive begets positive and negative begets negative. That nothing lasts forever and hardships will eventually be overcome. It is a belief that we don't walk this life alone and that while there are forces working against us, there are also forces fighting on our behalf for our success and salvation. It is being directed by a force that can't be explained but you know is there and is leading you, guiding you. It is knowing that something good or bad is going to happen without any forewarning and the determination to embrace or change the outcome. Finally, spirituality is knowing that you are more than the you, you and others see and the drive to make that inner you come out and shine. It is life with purpose.

To all my sisters out there, spend some time with yourself and celebrate your spirituality.MM

Looking Back - Looking Forward

Every year around this time, I reflect on the year gone by and try to anticipate the one to come. Birthdays are funny like that, love it or hate it, as long as you have breath in your body, you can't avoid it. They are like a personal 'New Year'. I usually spend mine with family. Having a nice dinner with interesting conversation. As I reflect, I think of things I did right and wrong or could have done differently. None of which I can change but can definitely learn from. Watching my children play and thinking of how far I have come and how far yet I have to go. I treat myself to something, whether an item of clothing I've had my eye on or a pair of shoes and I always, always have something sweet. I believe that sweetness is a type of prosperity that you will take into the new year with you. For all those that have dreaded birthdays and only have seen them as getting older, don't despair. Look at it as an opportunity to become a new you, to do the things you have always wanted to do and to let your light shine.

For me, most importantly what a birthday represents is another chance to thank God for possibilities, hope, faith, outcome and his love.MM